Okay, so I wrote this really nice intro to myself and copied all my old blogs over here.
I read back through them and I sound like a liar... but then grief is a long process. It's work, a job I didn't want to begin with.
However, in reading back I felt a bit uplifted. You can't read it in them (or maybe you can) but a great deal of progress has been made. I read them and remember my mindset at the time, and I know I've come a long way.
I have a few "rough" posts: they dwell on widowhood and the changes it brought quite a bit; that's where I've been... but many/most of them still have a positive ring to them (kinda like the previous paragraph). Well, okay, in part, it's because it's how I WANT other to view me, as upbeat.
Then again, the negativity in my posts often strikes me (and another blogger friend) as more powerful. As a writer-friend of mine and I discussed today, I think that comes from the times when the muse really punched me and made me "throw up on paper"... the times when the need to write is so strong that I'm compelled to my keyboard and typing on hyper-drive - afraid if I don't "get it out" right then and there I'll explode.
So, I suppose it's okay if the blog truly goes up and down. I truly do, too.
Kel,
ReplyDeleteYour honesty about your feelings and your live has always been one of your strongest assets. I appreciate that about you. That you can be articulate at the same time speaks volumes! Now, to quote your friend, it's time for me to "throw up on paper" for awhile.