I wrote this earlier post carefully. I never really thought of my blog as something "widely" read... especially not locally. However, to the persons involved in the story, two identities were obvious. At the time, I really thought I had offered the benefit of the doubt to those people. Honestly, I didn't think they would ever read it, or care what my thoughts were.
Not only did they read it, as I learned today, they were LED to it by others. I also learned that they were very hurt by it.
When I wrote the post, I was careful not to accuse any particular person of any wrong doing. I questioned their thinking, but I should have done that in a private conversation with them: not in conversations with others and not on my blog. The worst part is, while I have questioned their motives, I've honestly always given those motives the benefit of the doubt in my heart. Unfortunately, upon re-reading the entry, I can see why it didn't seem that way.
Today, I ran into one of those people. I noticed a "cool" attitude. I reached out again. This person let me know that my words had hurt. I must say, I admire this person for addressing the issue with me rather than letting it sit. I should have offered this person the same, a long time ago.
Did I really feel the things I wrote at the time? Yes, I did, but, I should have been more careful to point out that the hurtful acts I mentioned in the post had not been committed by the two who could be identified. I have redacted those portions of that entry, but the damage is done. Those people are hurt, and I had never spoken to them about my feelings in the first place. I should have had a conversation with them; I should have heard them out.
So, to any readers who recognize the players in this entry, or even those who don't: it's how I felt at the time, but I wasn't careful with my words and people who have never done anything to me were hurt. It wasn't fair. It was wrong.
I can't "fix" that, though I wish I could. All I can do, as I promised the person I spoke with today, is remove those parts of the post, and offer a truly heartfelt apology.
I am so very sorry.
