ARG!

Authors Note: To the right you'll see a new addition to the blog, JKH Peeps, Places, Things. If you get lost in the post, references are all available there.

Tonight, my heart hurts.

Earlier today the girls had auditions for "The Lady Pirates of the Caribbean" (Another Henry Dowell original). When we arrived (uh, a few minutes late, again) the lobby of The Gusto was packed with the faces of my theatre babies, faces I've grown to love. Today, those faces were sad, some were teary-eyed.

Mr. Dowell was telling us that "Lady Pirates" would be our last production. Keeping a theatre open here in L-town was a challenge from the beginning. Ticket sales and support for our troupe just weren't enough to keep the doors open. Our "family," (and my family) would soon be without our second home. I'd known this day might come, but I didn't expect it to be so soon.

Hit Pause: I'm listening to the Boo Bear and her best friend, Samantha (Sabrina's daughter), saying "Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep" with no prompting from me. That makes me smile. They just asked God to bless every one of their relatives, adding Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny at the end.

Hit Play: As I looked around, I saw so many kids that I'd had the pleasure of watching grow, mature and thrive at Gusto in the past year: Jonathan, one of our stars who really found his niche inside the Gusto's walls; Amber (Sabrina's oldest) whose lifelong flair for the dramatic had finally found a home; Valarie, who came to the Gusto reeling the recent loss of her grandmother and found a place to heal; Royce, whose heartfelt speech about the difference Gusto had made in his life at our awards party earlier in the year had us all nearly in tears; Zoe, our quiet little flower who bloomed into a beautiful fairy rose in our current production of "The Velveteen Rabbit"; The Velveteen Rabbit herself, P.D., who came there as an incredibly shy, quiet child, now playing the title character; little B.B., who was learning more about the value of teamwork and following directions with each production.

I ached for them, and I ache for me. Here in L-town, my "social involvement" had consisted of church, the events I attended with Deat, and visits with a few close friends. For some time after Deat's death, I had little desire to leave the house save for necessities. P.D.'s involvement meant my involvement; it got me out of the house and  played a  huge part of getting me back into life. Contributing to the productions, taking an interest in the kids off-stage, making new friends with Henry, Kelsey and too many great parents to name, helped solidify my healing and the healing of my whole family.

However, Mr. Dowell handled his sad announcement with grace. Auditions this afternoon were simple: each child was asked to get up and perform a song, a soliloquy, a speech or poem using his or her best "pirate voice." Our group dissolved into laughter over and over at the kids' efforts... some featuring our own private jokes, some simply hilarious in their renditions.

At least we have another month together. I, for one, plan to pack as much fun and love into our last month in our second home as possible, and to enjoy watching our kids act their hearts out in "Lady Pirates."

If we're gonna go out, at least we'll go out with Gusto, with a hearty "ARG!"