The Theory of Stupid

I was reading the Not-Right-Writer's blog today... she's an old friend from high school, super-smart, quirky in all the best ways, but a bit too hard on herself. Her most recent post included a lament about her husband and his actions... a few things he did that annoyed her to no end, and as her reader, knowing her feelings about aforementioned things, I'll say justifiably so...

HOWEVER... I know the secret to dealing with such "things"! I pass my secret, The Theory of Stupid, along to almost every new bride I know, to me it's key to preserving harmony and the female sense of well-being.

I started to write NWW a note, but since she reads my blog, I thought it better to impart this wisdom to all married womankind; a morsel that offers that extra bit of sanity for women in our Mars/Venus marriages, if you will.

Early in our marriage, I used to get REALLY frustrated with Deat. (St. Deat? Yes, St. Deat.) Sometimes it seemed every action he took (particularly outside my presence) was designed to wreak havoc on my mental and emotional stability: his jeans laying on the bathroom floor, RIGHT IN FRONT of the hamper, AGAIN! I fell into the seat-left-up toliet, AGAIN! He moved the papers that I desperately needed for work the next day and left me scrambling, AGAIN!

Then one day it dawned on me: He's just stupid. Deat didn't drop his jeans on the floor to annoy me: He's just stupid. He didn't sit giggling, planning the fun when I had stop everything and wash my behind from falling in the toilet: He's just stupid. He CERTAINLY didn't plan to interfere with my ability to help bring income into the house!

See, the problem with we women is we interpret every single action as MEANING something... as SAYING something about our husbands' feelings for us, for the things we value. "This means he doesn't CARE!" The reality: most of 'em, they just don't think that far ahead.

The good news: ladies, you can apply The Theory of Stupid to almost any idiotic move your husband makes! Truly, most of the time they aren't thinking about the consequences or our dismay... that doesn't mean they don't love us, they're just stupid.

I think I chose "stupid" because "thoughtless" feels too much like a major character flaw... something to fester over. "Stupid" has just enough meanness to satisfy the need for revenge, but at the same time, you really can't STAY mad at someone simply for being stupid.

He really does love you, he really does care about your well-being... He's just stupid.