Someone...

Facebook is an interesting thing. Different people follow different rules of Facebook friendship. I make sure I have a connection before I accept a request, but sometimes those connections weren't born in a close relationship pre-Facebook.

My next older and younger sisters are within 14 months of me on either side. My older sister and I were in the same grade. While we had different friends growing up, we were also something of a package deal; if you're a good friend to one of us you're a friend to all three. My older sister doesn't have a Facebook account; my younger one rarely checks hers. Many of their friends "friended" me in an effort to check on them... and so it was with that guy from high school, Tommy.

Three years ago Tommy sent me a friend request and then a note asking how Jeannie was doing, saying he noticed that he and I commented on a lot of the same posts from mutual friends. I remembered who he was... the guy with the jean jacket who bounced down the halls at school. I replied that I had noticed the similar comments, and did the traditional page creep: married, kids, working in sales... I noticed he seemed very devoted to his family. We got in touch one more time in March of 2014 when I noticed he had some phones for sale. 

He was one of those fringe Facebook friends: you "kind-of" know how their life is going; you "like" and laugh at their jokes; you don't know their day-to-day, but sometimes notice a big life change. That came in the fall of last year. I noticed some unhappy posts and the relationship change (divorced). I remember being surprised because he had seemed so devoted. Some of his posts seemed so sad, I kinda hoped from my "distance" that things would work out. Over time he appeared to be moving forward.. spring time brought new pictures with a new girl... life goes on.

Then one Friday night in early July I was scrolling Facebook and saw a post he made about his memories of his five year-old daughter; she died in a car accident 14 years ago. I messaged him just to say I didn't know he had gone through such a loss and to offer my condolences. My phone dinged about an hour later with his response. He shared he had not only lost his daughter, but his wife at the time as well. He and his son (6 at the time) had spent the next few months in a rehabilitation hospital.

For the next two hours we messaged back and forth, mostly about our experiences; with grief, with faith gained and with faith lost. Others can offer condolences, but there's a unique bond with people who've experienced these kinds of losses. Tommy says we understand what other people just don't. I remember thinking, in spite of the subject, he was pretty funny, and I knew then we'd end up being close friends. I wasn't quite picking up on how close.

The next day as I was finishing supper and checking Facebook, this message came through:

All-righy then!

So since I was already online, I answered:

And then:

Tommy still swears he wasn't lying... but he was.

And we were off to the races again, talking about everything under the sun.

Part 3 coming soon!