A New Christmas Tradition?

I have got to get back to this blog...

Meanwhile, today marks exactly 5 years since I wrote the most popular post of the 120 I've written.. (Gee, that number sounds good until you notice that this year I've written... uh... two... and that's IF you count this one... )

Anyway, I've been working on posts in my head. Maybe this recycled post will be just the kickstart I need to start writing again. Or maybe I'll slip even further into the clutches of literary laziness and will just come repost this one year after year...

Hope you enjoy just the same, and if I don't make it back here before then, I wish a safe and happy holiday to you and yours.

(This post first ran December 5, 2009.)

HUMBUG!

12/04/11 Editors note: If your Christmas tree is giving you problems and you Googled the name and got sent here, the only help I can offer you is to try THIS; although you can read the following year's entry and learn that it helped some, but not all of the problems.

P.D. asked me yesterday why artificial Christmas trees were invented.

"Well honey, I guess so people won't have to go to the trouble of going to buy a tree every year, they'll already have one at home. It's just easier."

Today, I had to rethink my answer.

For our first Christmas in this house, (2005) my mom bought a pre-lit tree for us. (Actually, for P.D.... she said that her baby deserved something better than the "table-top fiber optic gizmo" that Deat and I called "Our Christmas Tree".)

Oh, that tree that Momma bought, it's a beaut... a 7 1/2 ft Emerald Peak Tree (From K-mart's Martha Stewart line no less). It "features 800 multicolored lights and 1,504 easy-to-shape branch tips Revolving stand included" Yes, that's right folks, my tree TURNS. And man, that first 2 years, well, she was glorious. (Although, I will admit, having an angel staring down while turning in a circle as if she were surveying the room took some getting used to.)

Last December was terribly hectic, not to mention a hard one to "get into the spirit" so putting up the tree was a hurried affair one afternoon after school. I pulled apart the bunched-up branches like fighting fire. As a result, we had a somewhat "gappy" tree. Later in the season, one small line of lights near the bottom stopped lighting... no matter... in a few seconds the good side of the tree came around again anyway. Besides this thing has at least 16 different plugs (with a configuration so confusing, it came with all of the sockets pre-plugged except for the 3 letter-matched plugs and sockets required to connect the 3 different layers of tree.)

Today I decided I'd take a little extra care; I'd take advantage of those "easy-to-shape tips" to make sure our tree would look like the one on the box again. I thought to myself this morning, "I'll try to find that line if I have time and fix it, too."

So, I set the first section in the stand... two rows of branches that fall into place when you set them upright. I noticed as I was shaping the bottom row that the upper-row branches I kept pushing up out my way refused to say there, so I called to P.D. to bring one of my belts from my closet. I pushed all of the upper row branches up out of my way and cinched them with the belt.. worked like a charm! So there I sat on the floor shaping each tip, branch by branch; turn the tree, shape the next one... so pleased with my work... repeat for the next row.

Luckily, P.D. had retrieved not one belt, as I requested, but all of them, so I already had them for the middle section (five rows). I took the top-most of the middle sections branches, cinched them, then the second top-most, cinched them and so on down, so when I finished shaping the bottom-most section I was working on, all I had to do was release the belt above it, and only the very-next row would drop for shaping.

I really wish that had been as easy as it reads here. Those easy-to-shape tips (and the greenery adorning them) hurt! Anyone who has ever made the mistake of working in hay in short sleeves can relate to the scratches covering my lower arms. If you can't relate... be glad. One hour in, and I'm only beginning to shape the bottom-most row of branches for the middle section. It took me another hour to get those rows shaped.

Luckily, TLC called and kept me company for half of that ordeal and the shaping of the top section. As I mentioned to her on the phone, with 2 hours, I could have run out and bought a real tree, and the price would have been a cheap exchange for scratch-free arms! We discussed several topics as I worked, one being that she, (unlike me) had blogged 3 times in November and had also blogged yesterday. As I finished the top section, I told TLC I had to go... it was time to start the decorating.

I plugged in my 3 trusty letter-matched plugs and called to the girls for the first lighting....

Only one of that multitude of light-strings lit.... ONE half of ONE side of ONE row on the bottom of the tree. Just then, I noticed a tag on the plug leading into the base, "One spare fuse inside the socket." Hooray! It's probably just that fuse, right? I opened it up, checked the fuse inside, but it looked fine. I re-plugged the main wire into the wall socket... and now none of the lights will light.

Next year, I believe I'll be forgoing the convenience of my artifical tree for a troublesome real one!

Oh well, while my Christmas Spirit may be a bit lacking at the moment, my competitive spirit is alive and well... At least now I'm one up on TLC for blogging in December.

Don't Let the Pigeon...

What is it about the mildly obscure reference that makes it so much more amusing? You know the jokes I mean, the ones that make you laugh, not only because of the humor behind them, but because of the feeling that you're one of only a certain group who will truly "get" the joke.

I used to think there was a bit of elitism to it, "I'm one of this group, you're not, ha ha," but as I get older, I believe it's not the EX-clusion of others, but the IN-clusion of the group that makes it all the more fun.

These references take on two similar, yet different, forms: the popular/public culture form, and the "I get it because I was there" form.

We turned off the cable TV around here years ago, so, with a little help from Amazon, I only recently learned how to properly use "Bazinga" in a sentence. Luckily, a few years ago memes came along: they were quick, funny, and offered me some inclusion despite my busy schedule: parenthood and illness just didn't allow me to stay informed: Ain't nobody got time for that! (sorry, had to be done... Harold, Heather, there's your shout-out.)

Also, parenthood offers it's own culture. For example, I know who this guy is:

Do you know this guy? No? Well you can go look him up,
just like I have to do, on the actual, "hip" pop culture references...

Wait! Are things "hip," "cool," "boss," or something else, nowadays?

He's more important later...

Your References

Anyway, the "I get it because I was there" kind... I try to give that to you  guys. I make internal references and link to them... old posts, people, etc. I keep hoping this will inspire a cult following. It hasn't worked so much for me, but, from my stat counters I can tell that the MC (see labels on the right) had his own fan club for a time there.

I also notice my life sometimes runs in themes, so I try to share and label those for you, too. See how good I am to you people? Today, I'm even, once again, putting the laundry off for you!

You may have noticed, (no you didn't, who am I kidding?) that the newest label added to the group is "Pets and Animal Oddities". You may have believed that label originated in the recent Pre-Teen Titan or Hedgehog Harassment posts. (Oh dear God, somebody stop me I'm obsessed with linking!) 

Actually, the theme began a couple months ago with her:

You have to imagine her smaller and much scrawnier.

The Cat and The Cookies

This little creature started hanging out on my back porch in late November. I got tired of tripping over Sophie the Wonder Dog's food bowls, so I told the girls that we'd have to leave Sophie's food outside... which above creature took as an invitation to partake. I really didn't mind, she was so skinny, if she needed to eat, let her. I was sure Sophie would run her off, soon. Taking a note from B.B.'s reading homework, we started referring to her as Amelia Bedelia.

Why did you have to be there? On the second Sunday in December every year, we host our annual Cookie Party... an all-day affair. While once small, the Cookie Party now includes invites to all the theatre babies and their families, resulting in some 50 or so of our friends, adults and children, over the course of the day. We spend the early afternoon cutting out, baking and decorating cookies until the kids get bored (somewhere during the second batch) then spend the rest of the afternoon hanging out, chatting, kids playing, until early evening when we order pizzas for whomever is left. (This year we needed 8 pizzas.) 

The house is full; the atmosphere is insane. It's my very favorite day of the year! 

This is actually from one of the tamer parties from years past.
You get the idea...

Every year some private jokes emerge that last a month or two, some endure. Travis will never live down burning out my mixer one year. This year produced the Jonathan Action Figure, "This is Danny and He's a Free Agent." and The Cat That Invaded. 

See how sweet and timid that little face above looks? Not so. Every time the back door opened, she was trying to get in. 

"Kelly, is  your cat allowed in?"

"No, catch her, that's not my cat."

"Kelly, where did you get that pretty cat on the porch?"

"I don't know, that's not my cat. She just likes to hang out here."

"Why does B.B. call her 'Amelia'?"

"Uh, because that's what, I, uh,  named her."

Knowing look and nod. (I hate those!)

Around late afternoon, despite SIX people sitting around the kitchen table, she managed to GET ON TOP of said table and sample a little bit of the frosting from several bowls and the tops of several cookies remaining there. Heather spotted her, grabbed her by the scruff of her neck and with definite prejudice, unceremoniously dumped her out the door.

"Kelly, your cat ruined all the leftovers."

"THAT'S NOT MY CAT!"

"Somebody needs to tell her that."

In the following weeks I got several queries as to how the "cat that was not mine" was doing. Har de har har.

At Christmas break, as we were leaving to go visit family, I warned the girls that she would likely be gone upon our return. Sophie would be traveling with us, and Sophie's absence would also mean the absence of Sophie's food; I told the girls I felt sure the cat would find another family, though. After all, she was agreeable and started purring the second a person picked her up... who wouldn't love her? I mean, I could manage not to love her... but others would fall prey to those sweet little, precious little charms... AHEM!

When we returned, I had to issue a Facebook release and eat my words:

Just in case anyone missed Miss G.'s contribution to the thread... see below.

Sigh. God (with Miss G.'s help) decided we needed a cat.

The Fish 

And with that little inch came the Hedgehog mile. I told P.D. a couple days ago that if she could save up and pay for it, along with all the supplies, she could have her beloved hedgehog. 

I forgot that Miss B.B. saves all her birthday money and had quite a stash in place. Enough to get a whole fish starter tank going. Enough that, in the interest of fairness, we tromped out to Walmart last night to get supplies to get the aquarium started and will be tromping out tonight to get the fish to live in it. 

B.B. initially wanted to put the fish in her room, but I put the kibosh on that. (Since I'm obviously so good at setting limits around here.) She complained, how would anyone know that they were HER fish?

Problem Solved!

The Joke's on Who?

It would seem the girls are fairly innocent in all this, wouldn't it? It would seem all these additions are happy accidents; who knew Danny and Miss G. would turn out to be such great allies? It might even seem that they don't realize the distress I would naturally feel at going from merely Sophie the Wonder Dog, to a soon-to-be-four-animal household.

Here's where you kind of have to be a parent and kind of have to be "in-on" the joke. As my girls, B.B. in particular, apparently are, and have been, "in-on" this joke the whole time. 

Yesterday, B.B. brought home her "Don't Let the Pigeon" assignment from her first grade class.

(Aside, to Miss J., as promised, lots and lots of pictures)

Gotta Love Google...

I love statistics. Even when I have hardly any readers, I love to check my blog stats and wonder about who my readers were... especially since I had several hits on a two year-old post recently.

I began to wonder what in the world brought so many people to this particular post, so I checked to find the keyword searches these visitors used. I admit, I had to laugh when I saw the search phrases that brought them to me:

The phrases that brought most of these recent visitors to the blog were:

- 7 1/2 emerald peek tree martha stewart 

- emerald peak tree martha stewart fuse 

- martha stewart 7 1 2 emerald peak tree instructions 

- k-mart emerald peak tree 

- martha stewart christmas tree emerald peak assembly instructions 

- martha stewart emerald peak 7 1/2 ft christmas tree 

- martha stewart emerald peak christmas tree 

- martha stewart emerald peak tree

Apparently, my newest readers don't have any better luck than I do....


I just checked, that particular post is one of the top Google results you get using the above keywords. So, actually, their luck is worse, because when they went to find a solution to their decorating dilemma, they got... well... me.

Needless to say, Delmer's favorite annual post is coming soon....


;-)


(P.S. If you didn't click on the "better luck" link above you can go to December 2009 in the Archive and read the post titled "Humbug" to see why Google associates me with Martha Stewart trees)

Reindeer Poop

As I write this, it's 12:45 am and I've just submitted my last paper for my ethics class, the one that was due at 11 pm. I've written 3 papers for this class, the most recent 7 pages long, not including the abstract and " page + 1/4" of references.

Writing papers for Dr. Derenzo has been a challenge: she IS the self-described "Accountablity Police". I really thought I'd started early enough to meet the deadline. However, to be truthful, despite putting in approximately 15 hours on this piece, I still could have managed to turn it in on time.

I could have turned in a sloppily edited paper on time. Nah, if it's worth doing, it's worth doing right. If I get dropped 1/2 grade for lateness, so be it. I know I turned in the best paper I could write.

There's also another way I could have made it by the deadline. I could have skipped the talent show at The Gusto Theatre tonight. I made a conscious decision to walk away from my paper for a couple hours... the approximate time it took me to finish my edts.

I made that choice for a variety of reasons. The first of those was simple: my girls have had to walk around here on eggshells, not to mention spend time away from home as I've struggled to write papers and attend this class. We don't subscribe to cable, so while I've been here they couldn't even entertain themselves on my laptop (I've been using it) or the family computer (it sits in my bedroom and my workstation for writing and studying happens to be my bed). They deserved to have Momma take them someplace fun.

My second reason was to show support for my friend, Henry Dowell, the impetus behind everything that happens at the theatre. I couldn't begin to thank him for all he's done for my girls, especially P.D., in taking the time to teach them about drama over the past year and a half. Plus, in the course of dozens of rehearsals and working past one fairly bad spat (my bad, Henry) he and Kelsey Shea, his right-hand woman, have become very good friends to me. Supporting each other, that's just what friends do.

My third and not the least reason, was to show support to my "theatre babies". Participating in productions at the Gusto has not only added to the lives of my children, but also to me in giving me the opportunity to meet and learn about so many really awesome teenagers and kids. I've watched them learn and grow with every show, and couldn't help but fall in love with them. I am constantly rewarded for taking an interest in and loving these kids, they never fail to let me know they love me back.

I delighted in every performance tonight, just out of sheer affection for the kids on stage. Several of the segments featured the "Gusto Dancers" performing one of the many dances they've used in shows over the past year and 1/2. I was tickled when they called P.D. to the stage to perform with them. I laughed when, as they prepared for their final dance of the night, to Funkytown, they called Benny (another parent) to join in.

Then, the chanting started from the stage, "Kel-ly, Kel-ly, Kel-ly..." Who was I to tell them no? I've seen them do the Funkytown dance so many times I actually surprised myself by knowing most of the moves... when I wasn't running into Heather, another Gusto parent. And I can't tell you how much fun it was or how great it felt that they wanted me to join in.

So, my paper was late. I'm accountable, I'll take any penalties.

It was SO WORTH IT!!!!!

Guest Blog Spot: The REAL spirit of Christmas.

My friend, Mike, asked for a spot on my blog. I'm sure Mike believes that it's more well-read than it is.

Mike's sister has been my best friend since I remember having friends, and I've known him (and his tenacity) since we were itty-bitty kids. (I watched him chase a rooster than was almost as big as he was with a tobacco stick.) He's family, I am required to oblige.

Hopefully, if you don't live in Lexington area, this may inspire you to offer help where ever you live. I cede the floor to Mike:

Hey everyone! Christmas is here and I would like to take the opportunity to wish everyone a very Merry Christmas! For some people this holiday season will be especially hard due to job loss/financial hardship, difficult family issues or worse...the loss of a loved one. It may not mean much at the moment, but you are in my prayers and the prayers of many others.

Christmas is a magical time. Time for hope, optimism, love and security. For a lot of us, Christmas is a beautiful time. Time to spend with family and loved ones. However, for many families, all that is wanted and needed is for a hot meal to share and maybe a gift or two for their precious children. The spirit of Christmas lives in the heart of children and we have an opportunity to keep that spirit alive. There are many charitable organizations in need for food, clothes and toys for these families and I ask that everyone take the time and think about what they can donate. Clothes, toys, food, money? It doesn't matter. Everything counts and is desperately needed!

For those in the Lexington area, if you do not know where to go to donate, please allow me to point you to Quest Community Church at 410 Sporting Court next to Champs and Meijer off Reynolds Rd. For others, I am sure any church will be willing to accept your donations or at least point you to where your gift is needed.

http://www.questcommunity.com/

http://www.questcommunity.com/being%20christmas%20year%20end%20letter.pdf

Quest has teamed up with God's Food Pantry and other kitchens for feeding the poor. According to the latest reports, these places are short 35000 pounds of food . Also, Quest is teaming up with Vineyard Church and the Catholic Action Center for toy donations so that some families in need can have something for their kids to open this year. The goal is to supply for 15000 families! Together and through God's great plan, we can answer their prayers.

For those of us who are able, it is the time of year to give generously and see those generous gifts be used in ways that God has planned. You don't have to believe in God or be a Christian to understand that there are people that need our help. I simply request that if you can spare some food, clothes, toys or money please do not hesitate to offer assistance to those in need. For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life (John 3:16). The key word there is GAVE. He gave this gift to us not to sit under the tree unopened but to be opened, received and shared with everyone. So I ask that if you can, please donate what ever you can to what ever charity you choose.

God bless you all and have a very Merry Christmas!

Update: 12/20/10: From the Quest page:

Quest Community Church - YOU DID IT! U became Christmas for 1000s by giving 35707 lbs of food & filling an entire semi (+4 over) w/toys. Awesome!

Yep 35k pounds of food and a full semi trailer full of toys. Christmas is going to be great for a lot of families in need. Thanks to all who donated!

Cha-ching!

What? A new post?

Well, yeah.

1. The semester ended yesterday.

2. Today was a snow day, so we put the tree up!

I will tell you, last year's tree o' my discontent was introduced to the garbage guys. I only wish I could say shortly after Christmas.

I almost kept it. After the debacle that was last year's lighting, I ordered a Lightkeeper Pro from E-bay. John and Sabrina brought me an endless supply of light spares. John and I spent hours (and hours, and hours) trying to get it to re-light. We replaced approximately 50 lights. We shot (and shot and shot) those strings with the Lightkeeper. We managed to get half the light-strings going again... As I took it down, I kept thinking it seemed a shame waste all that hard work, when John and I could anticipate another merry exercise in frustration and futility the following year...

After New Year's, the neatly-packed-up box waited on on the back porch for the snow to clear so I could carry it to the storage building out back. Then it waited for the mud to dry up. Then it waited for me to get tired of tripping over it and find some divine inspiration to pick up and carry the hated object the 50-or-so steps to the building.

Meanwhile, Sophie the Wonder Dog discovered that chewing on cardboard was her new favorite past-time. Then she discovered that eating Christmas lights made her sick. (Yes, she chewed enough away to crawl in.) So, procrastination led me to dispose of the hated object. (Procrastination as a positive? YES!!!!! Cha-ching!)

The girls and I made fun of the tree displays that were already up in the stores before Halloween. Somehow, I had it in my head that I was the only one who might need a tree this year, so I waited until about a week and a half ago to take the girls shopping for one.

We carefully surveyed our findings. We debated the merits of real trees (as much as a 9- and 5-year old can contribute to said debate). We decided without the Christmas-y smell, they weren't worth the trouble, so we went from tree-to-tree in the Wal-Mart real-tree collection sniffing. (None of the Wal-Mart trees had any aroma worth mentioning.)

We went to Lowe's and K-mart, admiring the Christmas yard decorations... somehow I think God frowns on light-up pigs dressed up as angels, but who am I to judge?

We decided on one as close as we could get to our old tree, turns and all. We chose the 7 1/2 foot "Madison w/colored lights" from K-mart (apparently, Martha Stewart no longer has a Christmas tree line in the L-town K-mart). As is the lot of procrastinators, I found one on display but none in stock. Oh well, the truck was due the next day, (Wednesday) maybe there'd be one on it. I went the next day, no truck.

Annnnnd... speaking of no truck, I had to take my truck (which had been immobile for a month) and get it fixed before I could buy the tree so I could get the tree home... I digress. Oh well...

When we finally got back to K-mart on Saturday, not only were there no Madisons in stock, the display was gone too. Much to P.D.'s disappointment, the only one even close was only 6 feet tall, and it didn't turn either. At least the box was much easier to carry. (Procrastination as a positive? YES!!!!! Cha-ching!)

This year I wore long sleeves, so only my wrists look like I've been working in hay. Although this year's tree bragged of 1563 tips (as opposed to the 1506 on the Martha tree), I must say, it seemed much easier. Since this one was so comparatively small, I didn't need the turn function, it turned in the base anyway.

As I worked, I kept hearing much whispering from the kitchen. then the microwave running, so I stopped shaping for a bit. When I stopped, they noticed I wasn't making any noise and hollered "Momma! Don't come in here! It's a surprise!" When they allowed me in, they had prepared lunch for me: a plate with their version of a grilled cheese (toast the bread, then put on the cheese and melt it in the microwave), a pre-sliced and cored apple, cheese puffs, and almost hot hot chocolate. I must say, it was the best lunch I've had in some time. How such sweet babies came from my sarcastic line is beyond me.

With the smaller dimensions, we decided only to hang the ornaments that actually meant something to us. It's made a much homier, more aesthetically pleasing tree. I couldn't be more pleased with how this one has turned out.

Finally, the "surveying angel", because of her large size, seems to overpower our new tree, so she's now sitting on a side table for mere decoration... Um, in the same spot she's been sitting since she came off last year's tree. (Procrastination as a positive? YES!!!!! Cha-ching!)

Oops, it isn't the first day of the year anymore

Did I mention I'm not a big holiday fan lately?

I've often heard that the second year after losing a spouse is worse, and from the last 10 months, I completely concur. I talked to Sam today and we agreed that this Christmas (the second one for each of us) was much harder.

I told him I think it's because during the first year you're so busy figuring out the mere logistics of how to live life without your spouse, that you're almost too busy, too focused on figuring out what your "new normal" needs to look like, to greive properly. The second year, you have all your new "hows and whys" for your day-to-day in place, so its then that the magnitude of what you lost sets in.

Since that's a rather dreary topic, and I do so love to entertain, I decided to again add a bit of media for your amusement. I watched "Hancock" tonight, (Love Will Smith in any movie he does.) and this was the intro music. I liked it so well, I looked it up so you, dear reader, wouldn't have to.

Don't forget to pause the automatic player at the top right of the page! (Or, alternately, you can select #158 on the auto-player and skip the player below altogether.)

My Secret Favorite Christmas Song

I was desperately trying to come up with something to say for tonight... if for no other reason than to goad TLC, but I got nothin'... one little story about B.B..

Today at Walmart:

Me: B.B., do you want to look for something to ask Santa for?

B.B.: No (long pause) I want to be mean and hateful!

(Of course, that's much funnier knowing B.B.'s disagreeable tendencies and juxtapositioning it with her angelic 4 year-old voice.)

And a confession...

HUMBUG!

12/04/11 Editors note: If your Christmas tree is giving you problems and you Googled the name and got sent here, the only help I can offer you is to try THIS; although you can read the following year's entry and learn that it helped some, but not all of the problems.

P.D. asked me yesterday why artificial Christmas trees were invented.

"Well honey, I guess so people won't have to go to the trouble of going to buy a tree every year, they'll already have one at home. It's just easier."

Today, I had to rethink my answer.

For our first Christmas in this house, (2005) my mom bought a pre-lit tree for us. (Actually, for P.D.... she said that her baby deserved something better than the "table-top fiber optic gizmo" that Deat and I called "Our Christmas Tree".)

Oh, that tree that Momma bought, it's a beaut... a 7 1/2 ft Emerald Peak Tree (From K-mart's Martha Stewart line no less). It "features 800 multicolored lights and 1,504 easy-to-shape branch tips Revolving stand included" Yes, that's right folks, my tree TURNS. And man, that first 2 years, well, she was glorious. (Although, I will admit, having an angel staring down while turning in a circle as if she were surveying the room took some getting used to.)

Last December was terribly hectic, not to mention a hard one to "get into the spirit" so putting up the tree was a hurried affair one afternoon after school. I pulled apart the bunched-up branches like fighting fire. As a result, we had a somewhat "gappy" tree. Later in the season, one small line of lights near the bottom stopped lighting... no matter... in a few seconds the good side of the tree came around again anyway. Besides this thing has at least 16 different plugs (with a configuration so confusing, it came with all of the sockets pre-plugged except for the 3 letter-matched plugs and sockets required to connect the 3 different layers of tree.)

Today I decided I'd take a little extra care; I'd take advantage of those "easy-to-shape tips" to make sure our tree would look like the one on the box again. I thought to myself this morning, "I'll try to find that line if I have time and fix it, too."

So, I set the first section in the stand... two rows of branches that fall into place when you set them upright. I noticed as I was shaping the bottom row that the upper-row branches I kept pushing up out my way refused to say there, so I called to P.D. to bring one of my belts from my closet. I pushed all of the upper row branches up out of my way and cinched them with the belt.. worked like a charm! So there I sat on the floor shaping each tip, branch by branch; turn the tree, shape the next one... so pleased with my work... repeat for the next row.

Luckily, P.D. had retrieved not one belt, as I requested, but all of them, so I already had them for the middle section (five rows). I took the top-most of the middle sections branches, cinched them, then the second top-most, cinched them and so on down, so when I finished shaping the bottom-most section I was working on, all I had to do was release the belt above it, and only the very-next row would drop for shaping.

I really wish that had been as easy as it reads here. Those easy-to-shape tips (and the greenery adorning them) hurt! Anyone who has ever made the mistake of working in hay in short sleeves can relate to the scratches covering my lower arms. If you can't relate... be glad. One hour in, and I'm only beginning to shape the bottom-most row of branches for the middle section. It took me another hour to get those rows shaped.

Luckily, TLC called and kept me company for half of that ordeal and the shaping of the top section. As I mentioned to her on the phone, with 2 hours, I could have run out and bought a real tree, and the price would have been a cheap exchange for scratch-free arms! We discussed several topics as I worked, one being that she, (unlike me) had blogged 3 times in November and had also blogged yesterday. As I finished the top section, I told TLC I had to go... it was time to start the decorating.

I plugged in my 3 trusty letter-matched plugs and called to the girls for the first lighting....

Only one of that multitude of light-strings lit.... ONE half of ONE side of ONE row on the bottom of the tree. Just then, I noticed a tag on the plug leading into the base, "One spare fuse inside the socket." Hooray! It's probably just that fuse, right? I opened it up, checked the fuse inside, but it looked fine. I re-plugged the main wire into the wall socket... and now none of the lights will light.

Next year, I believe I'll be forgoing the convenience of my artifical tree for a troublesome real one!

Oh well, while my Christmas Spirit may be a bit lacking at the moment, my competitive spirit is alive and well... At least now I'm one up on TLC for blogging in December.