The MC, The Expert

As I've told you before, I ride with the MC to our work-site in another county on Tuesdays. He has to drive through my town to get to the town where we work, so it just works out. (The MC’s car and driving habits are a story for another time… I digress.) During the ride we consult about clients, about our practice... but sometimes we just talk about our own goofy idiosyncrasies.

I may have mentioned the MC’s gruff nature before.* He's an admittedly OCD creature of habit and likes everything "just so." I’ll never forget our second meeting when he made me redo my whole internship application over a single scratch-out. This time last year, I was still extremely intimidated.  I did much of our early work together holding my breath, hoping I measured up.

The pressure built and built until one day I blurted out, “Man, I wish I had a nickel for every time somebody has called you an a-hole! I’d be stinkin’ RICH!”

He laughed. I laughed. Pressure relieved. He decided he should author a how-to manual. We even laughed about his “How to be an A-hole” writing aspirations last night on the way home from work. He thinks they’d be best-sellers at Cracker Barrel gift shops.

You, too, can be an A-hole!

He probably saw enough Cracker Barrels last week on his trip with some other Vietnam Vets to D.C. for the Rolling Thunder Memorial Day Rally. (Of course the MC rides a Harley, you expected less?) He arrived to pick me up last Tuesday morning, bright eyed and bushy-tailed after having ridden 10 hours to get home on Memorial Day. He pointed out he did this to keep me from having to smell him if he’d waited and finished the ride home Tuesday morning… how considerate!

We usually get together (sometimes in my kitchen) on Wednesday mornings to work on client charts or other projects for our practice. As he was dropping me off last Tuesday, he said he’d call me in the morning to let me know if we’d be working. He said he'd been waiting for a part for his tractor to come in at a store here in L-town, so he wanted to save himself a trip and work on whatever day the part arrived at the store; he'd just pick it up while he was already in town.

The girls were gone with their grandparents to Myrtle Beach, so I enjoyed my leisurely Wednesday morning with my coffee, cereal (measured, Weight Watchers-style) and Facebook to amuse me while I waited for the MC to get in touch. I read posts, checked the news, texted with Crystal, thinking the MC would be calling any minute. He usually does his morning walking routine with his buddy P.T. (I’m still not saying where…) and calls me immediately after.

I noticed the clock at 9:30. The MC still had not called. Hmm, that’s weird. He always calls before now if we have iffy plans.

At 9:58 I sent him text, “ ? ”

At 10:11 I called. The MC’s cell is also our client line, so he always answers… but it went almost straight to voice mail. I figured he must be talking to a client… but then it might be an odd signal glitch so I called again at 10:15 and left a voicemail… still nothing. I started fretting a little. This wasn't like him.

I called again at 11:11. Again, it went straight to voicemail. Okay, this is REALLY weird, considering the MC knew my day was on hold until I heard from him. What if something happened to him? Nobody would think to call me…

I wondered if maybe he was ignoring me… he will sometimes send a call to voicemail if he’s really busy, so I texted him again at 11:13 to express my concern:

“Okay Dude, I really hope you aren’t in the hospital. But YOU better hope you are,  because if you AREN’T I will put you there for making me worry…”

Still nothing.

This went against everything I know about the MC. He likes to follow a routine. He answers the phone. He checks his messages. He doesn’t leave me hanging.

Could I call someone? The only people I know for certain that he talks to regularly are his daughter in another state, and two local friends, P.T., and Lee**. I don’t know his daughter’s number and REALLY wouldn’t want to frighten her since she lives so far away. I don’t even know P.T. and Lee’s last names, but I do know where P.T. works and could find him there if I needed to.

I started thinking about the what-ifs. The MC lives alone. He’s only in his early 60’s and looks to be in pretty good shape. But, he has horrible eating habits and he’s been complaining about high blood pressure lately. Or he may have decided he really wanted that tractor fixed, come and picked up the part and be out working on it… What is he’s hurt, or sick and can’t get up, get to the phone? What if he’s knocked out or lying in agony? No one would know…

By 11:20 I was in Kermit heading for the MC’s house. While I was on my way, I tried to call P.T. to see if the MC had shown up for the walk that morning, but P.T was tied up and couldn’t come to the phone.

I told myself I was just going to make sure the MC’s car was gone so I’d know he was okay and just not available. Yes, the MC is a very private person, but I’m just being a good friend, right? Ugh, what if he has (gasp!) a lady friend he didn’t tell me about and was just hanging out with her at the house? He’d probably be aggravated at the privacy invasion... Then again, how many stories have I read or heard where someone thought something was off and did nothing and it ended in tragedy? Besides, it’s only a 15 minute drive…

The MC has a few acres of property, and his home sits about 50 yards off the road in a wooded area. When I arrived, no surprise, the front gate was locked. I couldn’t see the carport for the trees… grr. I heard a tractor in the distance, so I got back in the car and drove around the property to see if maybe he was mowing. I didn’t see any mowing evidence so I went back. I’m really glad no one was around to watch me climb the gate, I’m sure it wasn’t pretty.

As I walked closer to the house, I could see both the car and truck were there. I noticed the mower sticking out of the shed, so I knew he wasn’t mowing. I went to the back door, rapped on it and waited. Nothing. I strained to hear… nothing. I decided to walk around front and look in the front windows.

Please don’t let me see his body on the floor, pleasepleasepleaseplease… I didn’t see anything, but thought as I walked back around to leave, “I don’t think he’s here, but where in the world could he be?”

When I came back around I saw it and my heart nearly stopped: The Harley. He’s here somewhere. I tried his cell one more time, but still didn’t hear it ring. I noticed my voice was shaking as I left the voicemail.

Okay, I think I’m going to have to find a way in. I tried the doorknob, hoping I could just stick my head in and yell for him… locked of course. I yelled his name a couple times hoping he could hear me in the house… nothing.  I decided to try P.T. one more time. I might need P.T. to come help to break into the house. Maybe I'm being ridiculous. I'll just tell P.T. what I know and see what he says. The secretary answered and told me to hold on.

While I was on hold, I saw the MC’s face appear in a window, sans shirt, sans glasses and wet hair going everywhere.

I screamed like a girl. A short scream, but still…

The MC opened the door (looking really confused, holding the door knob in one hand and a towel around his waist with the other) just as P.T. was answering, so I quickly held up my finger and said told P.T. the original reason for my call but that it was alright now because I’d found him.  P.T. said to give him a hard time since he hadn’t answered P.T.’s texts either.

So I hung up, looked up and said, “Okay, you’re alive, that’s all I needed to know. It’s all good. P.T. says you’re a slacker, and I’ll be going now…”

I almost made a break for it, but the MC motioned for me to come in and told me to wait while he went back through the house to get dressed. Apparently, the phone got turned off somehow and he was so exhausted from the trip he slept late that morning. He said he thought he heard somebody knocking while he was in the shower so he came to check it out when he got out.

We ended up going to lunch. He promised me he’d delete the voicemail without listening, but cracked up at the text message. I am forbidden from trying to check on him like that again...

This Wednesday morning, (today) my phone rang at 9 a.m.

The MC: I was just calling to assure you that I am alive and well and you have no reason to drive to my town today…

Me: Ya know, you really are the perfect person to write that How-to manual…

*sarcasm alert

** not their real names