I just finished mowing the too-tall grass in the backyard and I believe the girls and I will be having a Zen-grammar lesson when they return home. It will start with me pointing at the trashcan...
Okay my little grasshoppers, what is this? That's right, a trash can...
A THING
And what kind of noun is it? Correct! It's a THING!
(Yes, they'll get that, we own the Schoolhouse Rock DVDs, including the song below)
But! What if I told you this lowly trashcan TRANSCENDS the confines of being only one type of noun? What if I told you it can be BOTH of the other kinds of noun too?
A PERSON
You see, this trashcan is our FRIEND. Mr. Trashcan opens his mouth and eats all the stuff we don't want, and holds it until we can take it out front to his big brothers, who also hold it until the nice garbage men come and take those nasty unwanted things away.
Isn't that nice of Mr. Trashcan? AND!
A PLACE
This trashcan is a place, a place you MUST learn to make a destination in your lives. This trashcan is THE PLACE you immediately go when you are out in the backyard and you've just finished say
- a bottle of bubbles,
- Or a Popsicle,
- Or a bottle of water...
You should then realize your hand now holds an EMPTY
- bubble bottle,
- Or Popsicle wrapper,
- Or water bottle...
Think "TRASHCAN! That's where I need to be!"
And don't OPEN that hand until you get there; do NOT allow any of these items to fall into the grass where Mr. Mower can get hold of them.
This trashcan is the PLACE to go. Do not continue playing. Do not head for the swing, or your little club area, or anywhere else. Do not pass Go, do not collect $200. Go DIRECTLY to the trashcan.
Got it, Grasshoppers? Tomorrow we'll be learning about the noun-hood of Ms. Kitchen Sink.
This lesson falls under the MMPP (Mean Momma Prevention Plan) along with running and getting my nicotine gum for me whenever I ask.
Now, snatch the pebble from my hand...
Love it! Awesome! I think there's a grown up in my house who could use that lesson...
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